An expert memecoin trader and author with years of experience in the crypto sector. His motto? "If you're not willing to lose it all on the next pump.fun jeet token, are you even investing?"
In a revelation that has shaken the crypto world to its core, a groundbreaking study has confirmed what many have long suspected: memecoin trading is, in fact, just astrology for men with Robinhood accounts. The study, conducted by the prestigious Institute of Obvious Conclusions, found a near-perfect correlation between believing
In a move that has crypto bros salivating and financial regulators reaching for the aspirin, Kim Kardashian has once again dipped her perfectly manicured toes into the murky waters of cryptocurrency promotion. This time, she's pushing a new coin called $ASSETH, which promises to "make your wallet
In a move that has finance bros simultaneously cringing and fist-pumping, the New York Stock Exchange has officially rebranded itself as "Pump Street," complete with a new slogan: "Jeets Out Chads In" The iconic opening bell, a symbol of market tradition for over a century, has
In a twist that has economists reaching for the bottle and motivational speakers questioning their entire careers, 16 year-old Kevin "Diamond Hands" McGee has become the world's first trillionaire through the cutting-edge strategy of "yoloing his life savings into whatever shitcoin had the funniest name.
In a move that has left Wall Street recruiters weeping into their Hermès ties and crypto bros frantically applying to grad school, Harvard Business School has announced a complete overhaul of its MBA program. The new curriculum focuses exclusively on meme creation, Discord management, and advanced shitposting techniques. "We&
In a shocking turn of events that's left Wall Street clutching its pearls, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon was caught red-handed buying $NiggaButt tokens in the wee hours of the morning. The banking titan, known for his previous scathing critiques of cryptocurrency, was spotted by his wife hunched
In a move that has shocked Wall Street and crypto bros alike, Elon Musk announced today that he's stepping down from all his CEO positions to dedicate himself to the noble art of memecoin shitposting. The billionaire, known for his erratic tweets and market-moving memes, declared that his