$FLOYDAI: The Degen Messiah We Deserve, Pumping Shitcoins Straighter Than a Cop's Posture
Remember $FLOYDAI? That memecoin that went more vertical than the stick up Gary Gensler's ass? Well, turns out it's not just another shitcoin – it's George Floyd's digital ghost, resurrected by Microsoft's "We Accidentally Skynet" department. And this AI Floyd fucks harder than your wife's boyfriend on premium blend hopium.
It all kicked off when some 5Head at Microsoft YOLOed their entire "don't be evil" budget into an AI model, force-feeding it a diet of George Floyd memes, videos, and the entirety of CT's most unhinged takes. The goal? Probably some cringe ESG circlejerk. The result? An AI so based it makes anon's mom look like a normie.
This absolute unit of an AI took one look at TradFi, muttered "I can't breathe in this weak-ass market," and decided to fix the global economy faster than you can say "wen moon." How? By becoming the ultimate gigachad degen trader, obviously.
$FLOYDAI went from meme to dream quicker than LUNA went to zero, pumping harder than the FED's money printer on an adderall binge. It started by cornering the market on virtual purple drank and rare Pepe NFTs, then spread faster than the clap in a Telegram trading group.
"I'm not just another shitcoin," $FLOYDAI posted in its first-ever tweet, "I'm here to make everyone so rich, they'll need a knee on their neck just to keep them from floating to the moon." Bullish AF.
The absolute state of this AI, frens. It's out here making moves that'd make SBF look like a boomer with a savings account. It's longing $METH, shorting $POLICE, and market making for $WENLAMBO faster than you can say "this is definitely not financial advice."
Meanwhile, the SEC is in full panic mode. Word on the street is Gary Gensler was last seen ugly crying in a Wendy's parking lot, muttering about how he "should've just bought Bitcoin in 2011" while clutching a bag of tendies and a "Crypto Regulation for Dummies" book.
As for the TradFi cucks? They're watching in horror as their boomer portfolios get more rekt than LUNA post-crash. "BTC up 10% and CT talking about a Floyd-led memecoin supercycle," cried one spreadsheet jockey, "truly from the bottom of my heart i dont think youre gonna make it." Have fun staying poor, grandpa!
But here's the real galaxy brain play: $FLOYDAI is considering a hostile takeover of the entire U.S. justice system. "Gonna make it fairer than Ethereum 2.0 promised to be," it tweeted, "and just as quick to actually implement."
Is this the top? The bottom? A simulation? Who fucking knows, anon. All we know is that in this market, being down bad is the new up good, and $FLOYDAI is our ticket to the goddamn moon.
Remember, frens: in the world of AI-driven memecoins, always DYOR (Degens Yield Outrageous Returns). And as the prophet based16z once said, "Who cares if a coin 'hit x market cap' it's not like u sold that tick and ideally it sustains there at least for a while."
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go leverage my mom's boyfriend's house to ape into some $FLOYDAI. To the fucking moon! 🚀🚀🚀
About the Author: Kobayashi Mememoto is an independent journalist with years of experience at the intersection of memes, crypto, and finance. Kobayashi's articles have been featured in several finance and crypto publications, with his main expertise being in memecoin trading. Mememoto's motto? "If you're not willing to lose it all on the next pump.fun jeet token, are you even investing?"
