Memecoin Shitposters Unite to Form 'League of Extraordinary Rtrds', Promise to Save Global Economy by Destroying It First
The biggest gigabrains behind your favorite shitcoins have formed the "League of Extraordinary Retards" (LER). Their mission? To unfuck the global economy by first yeeting it into the sun.
The squad, led by none other than the GOAT of exit liquidity himself, Su "3AC" Zhu, includes such luminaries as the big bootty creator of $MOTHER, the dev who accidentally made millions with $SPX6900.
"We're not just gonna fix the economy, we're gonna make it based AF," declared Zhu, sporting his signature Milady PFP and a t-shirt that read "I survived the LUNA crash and all I got was this lousy multibillion-dollar fraud charge."
The LER's first order of business? Launching a memecoin so powerful, it'll make the US dollar look like toilet paper. Oh wait, it already does.
Enter $UNFUK, a token with more zeros in its supply than brain cells in the average TradFi analyst. Its whitepaper, a single page featuring a badly drawn faggt, simply states: "Number go up technology powered by pure, uncut hopium."
But here's where it gets spicy, anon. In a twist that's left even the most galaxy-brained DeFi degens scratching their heads, $UNFUK's smart contract is designed to rug pull itself every 69 minutes, automatically redistributing funds to the poorest wallets in a move they're calling "decentralized socialism."
"It's like Robin Hood, but instead of stealing from the rich, we're just creating money out of thin air and giving it to the poor," explained dev 'RetardUSDC', adding, "Let's see JPow match our money printer go brrr energy."
The token's launch caused more volatility than your ex's mood swings, with its market cap bouncing between $69 and $420 billion every hour. Traditional stock markets, unable to cope with the chaos, simply shut down and put up "Gone Fishing" signs.
Even the Fed threw in the towel. "Fuck it, we ball," tweeted Jerome Powell before announcing the central bank would now base interest rates on the daily top post in r/wallstreetbets.
As for the SEC's Gary Gensler? Last seen in a Wendy's parking lot, muttering about how he "should've just bought Bitcoin in 2011" while clutching a bag of tendies.
Meanwhile, economists worldwide are on suicide watch. "This defies every principle of sound monetary policy," cried one Nobel laureate, to which Zhu simply replied, "Sir, this is a casino."
In a final stroke of 5D chess, the LER announced plans to tokenize the global GDP on Solana. "Why? Because we can, and because Solana's uptime is now a solid 420 minutes per week," grinned dev 'SBF_did_nothing_wrong'.
As of press time, the world economy was simultaneously in shambles and more vibrant than ever. Unemployment hit 0% as everyone became a full-time shitposter, and world hunger ended because food can now be right-click saved as an NFT.
Remember, anon: in a world of virgin fiat and chad crypto, always bet on the degens. They might just save us all, right after they finish rugging your life savings.
About the Author: Kobayashi Mememoto is an independent journalist with years of experience at the intersection of memes, crypto, and finance. Kobayashi's articles have been featured in several finance and crypto publications, with his main expertise being in memecoin trading. Mememoto's motto? "If you're not willing to lose it all on the next pump.fun jeet token, are you even investing?"
