Su Zhu Unveils "MemeFinance": AI That Turns TikTok Brainrot into Serious Gains
In a move that has the crypto world collectively saying "GM, who rugged the fking liq?", Su "3AC" Zhu, the GOAT of exit liquidity, just dropped "MemeFinance" - an AI system so regarded it makes your smooth brain look like a supercomputer.
At a press conference held in the Skibidi Toilet metaverse (because ofc it was), Zhu, sporting his signature "I Survived LUNA and All I Got Was This Lousy SEC Investigation" t-shirt, declared, "Reality is being high and sober at the same time, yet you only smoked air. MemeFinance doesn't just understand the market; it IS the market." Bullish AF.
This galaxy brain AI comes loaded with more features than a Bogdanoff twins fever dream:
- A "Cult Coin Detector" that sniffs out the next FATGF faster than anon's mom finds the nearest BBC
- A "Supercycle Intact" indicator measuring the health of the hippo-supercycle (iykyk)
- An "Evocative Meme Generator" that shitposts harder than CT during a liquidation cascade
Early tests show MemeFinance is more accurate than your wife's boyfriend's pull-out game. It called the ElonCumRocket pump based solely on toilet emoji volume on TikTok. This is the alpha we've been waiting for, frens.
Critics (aka nocoiners and FUDsters) say it's just another elaborate scam. One researcher malded, "This is financial advice from a sentient Bogdanoff meme." Ser, that's why we're bullish.
Meanwhile, TradFi is losing its shit harder than SBF at a bankruptcy hearing. Goldman's got a "Skibidi Trading Desk" and JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon was spotted panic-buying rare Pepes. The absolute state of legacy finance.
As the news spread, CT went full degen. Three Arrowz Capitel's token, $3AC, pumped 42,069%, briefly flipping the GDP of several small nations combined. Su Zhu's net worth is now measured in rare Wojak NFTs.
Zhu's final words? "The fat stays on, the DROYD has been suffocated, and we've found love in a hopeless place. MemeFinance isn't just predicting the future; it's creating a reality where being fucking crazy is the only sane response." This is the hopium we mainline, anons.
Last seen, Zhu was teaching VCs the difference between virgin TradFi and chad MemeFinance, while simultaneously trying to acquire 1% of all existing toilet paper. The man's playing 5D chess while we're still eating crayons.
About the Author: Kobayashi Mememoto is an independent journalist with years of experience at the intersection of memes, crypto, and finance. Kobayashi's articles have been featured in several finance and crypto publications, with his main expertise being in memecoin trading. Mememoto's motto? "If you're not willing to lose it all on the next pump.fun jeet token, are you even investing?"
